I have lost my hat. Again. Not the same hat, obviously. I haven't misplaced it. It is gone. Like the one before it.
I don't wear hats very often. I'm not known as Carlton The Hat, unless I've been mishearing them all these years. Hats don't actually suit me. Which is odd considering I'm no oil painting. A good large hat, you might imagine, would do wonders in hiding me from public view or at least provide an elegant distraction. But no, hats make me look like a pillock. Sometimes though, they are a necessity. Particularly in the cold.
Now, I don't generally lose things. Don't misunderstand me, I lose competitions all the time and frequently fail to acquire things I've never had but it's rare that I lose things I already own. Except, it seems, hats. I don't think I have a subconscious desire to lose them. But then how would I know? I don't feel especially careless about them. They just go. Away. Puff. Like that. Although not so obviously. Or magically - there's no sparks or smoke involved - that I would notice. Nope, they just disappear.
And no, I don't know where I last had it, because if I did, I'd just go back and get it, wouldn't I? No, it's fallen from my bag as I've taken something out in a hurry, or it's laying exactly where I left it when I took it off.
You see for me, hats are an optional item when I'm outdoors. I can put it on. Or I can take it off. I can put it on and look like a fool. Or take it off. And lose it. Very simple.
But it's not like a shoe. It's not like a shoe at all. I don't regard shoes as optional outdoor wear. At least not away from the beach. Or the garden, maybe. Even then, I'm not the sort of person to lose one and not notice. I'd start walking in gentle circles, for one, because of the slight discrepancy in length of leg to floor. Even I would spot if I'd gone round in circles for an hour just trying to buy an ice cream.
Apparently, I am a little unusual.
Apparently the owner of this boot was able to leave it. And not notice. A boot. A boot.
Thats a big boot to lose. I'd like to be a fly on the wall at that persons house when they went to remove their boots.
Posted by: Robbie | Wednesday, 01 April 2009 at 10:19 AM