Soft Play

One of my dear friends is, as he gets older, increasingly uncomfortable in enclosed spaces.  It started with lifts and now extends to aeroplanes.  He knows it is happening but cannot help himself.  I am developing my own irrational fears too.

S is a truly sweet little girl.  She has the sunniest disposition.  I know I am prejudiced but she is so utterly innocent.  Like I say, I know I prejudiced.  I’m not claiming that she’s not wily.  She already knows how to charm.  And she can be as wilfully mischievous as the next Cheeky Monkey but it’s of her own making in a largely benign environment.  What she hasn’t experienced so far is spite.  Meanness.  Malice.

A horrible little boy pushed her over at Soft Play.  Not because he needed to get past.  Not because he accidently caught her.  No.  Just because he could.  Just because he was being mean.  The shock, not the bump, reduced S to tears.

Now you might be thinking she needs to toughen up. Stand up for herself. Punch back.  Maybe you’re right.  But I’m not so sure I want her vengeful.  Resilient, yes.  Irrepressible, hopefully.  But not blindly retaliating at the slightest incident or bitterly savouring every slight.

She did not understand what had happened.  Such malice was incomprehensible.  She was simply playing.  There was no challenge over a toy.  No contest over some thing.  Nothing said.  No warning.  Simply unmotivated animus.  A simple unprovoked shove. 

She knew some upset had happened.  She knew something was wrong.  It challenged her worldview, of a life where people make things better.

So she got up. 

And she hugged the boy. 

Because that helps make it better.

And he pushed her over again.

And a growing dread grips me.  A terror deep within.  Of someone really hurting her.  Precisely because he can.  Precisely because she’s so untroubled.  Carefree.  Vulnerable.  Precisely because she reaches out to people. 

My Little Girl.  And my irrational fear.

Comments

[Mrs RW]

Thankfully you didn't rush over and pound the little bugger into dust, which is what I'm sure your inner Father was urging you to do.

It's too sad that this is how children learn that not everyone is as loving and open as they are.

It'll be a few more years until you can explain this to S and how she can react.

I hurt for you.

[TomDolan]

Oh, how I feel your rage, and your fear.

D is just a joy, a little creature full of excitement, interest and generosity. And there's part of me feels that makes her even more of a target to The Horrible. How much funnier to watch her fall further. I just hope people don't think like that - or that her sunny disposition will mean she bounces back so quickly it doesn't matter.

The resilience to deal with someone that's just a git for the sake of it is something I didn't have when I was young, and I'm not sure how strong my skills are now. But hopefully by passing on what I managed to learn she'll be one step further ahead than I was.

[Carlton]

It is horrible watching Life wash over them, isn't there? But as both of you intimate, we simply do the best we can.

c