Someone should wrench my computer away from me. Save me from myself. I am clearly not to be trusted with a link to the outside world. Stop me from making it worse. It might be too late: I have done a Bad Thing. Of course, I blame bad parents, poor teachers, the Government, the man across the street, my lack of good socks.
You might remember how our perfectly good car was written off by a perfectly bad driver. Idiot. The most annoying thing was that the damage was superficial. It’s just that the car was already technically worthless. Damn it. Anyway, we’ve had enough of being shabby: I’ve bought a new car.
Obviously when I say ‘new’, I mean ‘new’ in the way the Pyramids are new compared to Stonehenge. And when I say ‘bought’ I mean ‘ebay.’
Well. Why not I thought. What can possible go wrong?
The 1.6 litre was underpowered. I wanted a 1.8 . I was offered a 2.0 litre. I bought a 2.5 litre. V6. Sports Injection. In a fit frustration. In a moment of madness. From a man in Essex.
Apparently it’ll do 0-60 in one shake of a lamb’s tail. And travel two or three miles on a full tank of petrol. It is a perfect family car. Especially in these times of cheap fuel. I am a pecuniary genius. And ebay is my perfect muse.
Or I am a fool. Tricky one...
Comments