Morning Routine

The world takes on a slightly different complexion when seen from the seat of folding bicycle.  Not since that unsightly bout of facial boils have I attracted so much attention.  Barely a day goes by without some stranger commenting on the size of my contraption. In the saddle too, things appear a little odd.

Riding through the frosty dawns of late, a kind of pattern has emerged.  And it mainly occurs down the urban bridleway that crosses one of the less salubrious and more exciting estates of my town. 

Every morning for the last couple of weeks I’ve witnessed exactly the same sequence of events: 

I ride past a man walking his mangy old dog.  The dog wears a flashing light on its jacket but never hears me coming.  It’s oblivious to my bell and hallooing.  The man pulls the pup aside and nods.

Five seconds later, and it’s always five seconds regardless of how fast I’m travelling, I startle a blackbird by a gnarled oak tree.  It squawks at me, disgruntled and flaps to the nearby fence.  Of course I cannot be sure but I think it’s the same one everyday. 

It appears connected to the occupants of Number 26 Brooke Rise because as soon as the bird’s airborne, an upstairs light flickers on.  Originally I thought it might an external security light trigged by movement but it’s definitely a bedroom lamp - when I watch longer, a bare-chested man in spotty boxer shorts crosses the gap in the curtains.  He’s usually scratching.

Then the mangy dog barks.

But today something unusual happened.

The dog-walking man spoke.  And it’s a woman.  Buried beneath the hat, the scarf, the gloves and duffle coat is a woman.  She told me the dog is deaf.

Then the blackbird turned into a robin. 

Maybe because it’s nearly Christmas.

Comments

[Jon]

Sounds a bit like the Trueman show to me! Maybe the world does revolve around you after all:-).

[Rob]

Damn, beat to the Trueman Show line.
I hope youve not been caught staring at the bare chested man scratching in his window?

[Carlton]

I knew it! I knew it. It explains so much. I thought there was something fishy about the man in his boxer shorts.

c