Brompton

Enough.  Enough.  Enough of these infernal local trains for which timetables are an inconvenience for others to follow.  Already during my first eight weeks on the job I have arrived late more times than I can remember because my last connecting train has had something more important to do than follow the silly schedule.  I have had enough. 

There were two options: enjoy a Falling Down moment like Michael Douglas and his personal arsenal or find an alternative.  I couldn’t find my Uzi.  Something else will have to do.

I have bought a new bicycle.  Not an ordinary bicycle, you understand.  Oh no.  A Brompton.  A folding bicycle.  You may have seen them.  Strangely wonderful contraptions that look like a baby giraffe with wheels the size of pennies.  And the collapse smaller than a postage stamp.  Witchcraft, I tell you.

In the past of course, these odd machines have been the reserve of middle-aged men, in tweed jackets and jeans, trying to cling to the vestiges of a simpler time and therefore looking dangerously eccentric as they weave in and out of either gridlocked or racing traffic.

Naturally, I’ll change all of that, being the epitome of cool that I am.  Today, just seventy-two hours into my membership of the Cycling-in-Town-so-Life-Expectancy-is-a-Week-at-Best club, I rode to a nearby pub for lunch with a friend.  I could have walked fifteen minutes to the Tube, waited, caught the tube for two stops and had a ten minute stroll the other end.  On my marvellous, mechanical bicycle - just five minutes.  And on arrival, fold it up and carry it in, little more cumbersome than a 12kg paperback.

Oh! the joy of it.  It was as much as I could do not to whoop with delight peddling back to the office, jacket tails flapping elegantly in the wind, weaving in and out of the traffic, reminiscing about childhood jaunts.  Oh, if only I’d had my pipe to hand.

Comments

[Jon]

All that fun and not a single stinging nettle in sight.

[James]

At last your ascent is complete. Perhaps a deerstalker would be a more appropriate choice than a cycle helment*.

*Of course I accept no responsibility for any injuries sustained by following any advice I may proffer.

[LondonGirl]

Hurrah - my cycling evangelism has been infectious!!!!

Just don't forget the neon jacket and proper lights to keep you safe though.

[Rob]

Would Falling Down of been a better movie had Michael Douglas cycled home?

Lets see how long it is until you give in to your desires and just cycle everywhere!? Including around your own home/down to your local.

[Carlton]

Ah, but Jon, such was my desire to recapture those days, I went out of my way to find some stinging weeds. Ah, the nostalgia of it all...

A deerstalker sounds a grand idea, James. It'd certainly help keep the hair out of my eyes as I fly down the golden streets.

LondonGirl, I had no idea you were a fellow rider. Clearly some subliminal messaging going on.

Rob, you've got something there. Maybe for Falling Down 2, Douglas could vent his fury from the saddle of a folding bike. I like it.

I like your suggestion about cycling around the house too. Two rotations and I'd travel the entire width or length. Just need to master the stairs now...

c