Babooshka

“Did you go out on Friday night?” I asked innocently.
‘I nearly did but I went home after a glass of wine.’
“Why?  What happened?”
‘Oh, nothing.  It just tasted too good.  I knew if I had another, I’d end up having drunk four bottles without realising.’
“Four bottles?! What, on your own?”
‘Oh yes.  I can do it, if I try, but it does get a bit messy.’
“I can imagine.” I lied - half a beaker of Ribena and I get a bit giggly.

‘The worst time was when I ended up singing karaoke.’
“Yes, I know what you mean: I can’t sing either.”
‘No it wasn’t that.  I’m quite a good singer.’  She sounded slightly hurt but carried on.

‘I was at the local Working Men’s club you see.  I was singing Babooshka.  I love that song.  And I just got a bit carried away.  You know how you do.  I stripped off while I was singing.’
“I’m sorry.  What?”
‘Yeh, stripped’
“To what?”
‘Nothing.’
“What?  Not just down to your bra and knickers?”
‘No.  Starkers.’
“Really?!”

I struggled to imagine how she might have taken all her clothes off and kept singing.  Maybe she knew all the words and wasn’t trying to read them in time with the bouncing ball.  Maybe she’d been improvising with the dance moves a little, perhaps neglecting some of the less well known movements in order to pull her legs out of her jeans.  Maybe she took her shoes off first.  Trying to release a snagged high heel would have taken up an entire verse or more, I’d have thought - she’s have run out of time.  Unless they had the track on Repeat, that is. 

Each time I imagined a solution, the mental image was so vivid, I had to shake my head to clear it.  Don’t get me wrong, she’s a lovely girl, but not one I want to see naked.  Even in my head. 

‘Yeh, it was terrible.’  She continued.  ‘I didn’t remember anything about it until next day when someone posted a sock, an earring and my knickers through the door.  My boyfriend of fourteen years dumped me for it.’
“That’s terrible.” I agreed, not knowing which aspect of it was most terrible.

‘The worst of it was, they banned from the club.  Banned me.  For life.  Apparently the old men didn’t want to see my muff on Dominoes Night.’

Comments

[LondonGirl]

Blimey. That's quite a drunken confession. And it makes my shameless drunken chatting up of boys seem calm and dignified by comparison.

[Carlton]

I think that story makes us all feel a little better about our antics, LondonGirl!. c