Now, you only need to look at me to know that I have no sense of these things whatsoever, but really, am I missing something? Why do people still wear leggings? L-e-g-g-i-n-g-s? In public? And why does it seem that the more weight one carries, the more appealing they become? How do we convince ourselves that the tighter they feel, the better they look? Maybe I need to loiter around shop changing rooms more often. Is there a conversation that goes something like this:
“Now, you have the choice between VPL thin or Intimate Creases thin. Don’t worry both versions will show off every conceivable ripple and lump.
“Yes, that’s right. They’re meant to do that.
“Yes, as you pull them up, it makes all your flesh bulge over the top. Hmm, lovely. That’s right, bit higher.
“Nearly there. Come on, just one last heave. Now, this last bit, it’s a bit like catching a jellyfish with a condom. Quickly does it, so that it doesn’t pop out. Here, let me help push that bit in.
“Here, use this shoe-horn for that roll.
“Yes, yes, that Elastic Band-look around your calves is very flattering.
“Gorgeous. Gorgeous. But you know what? Let’s try for the next size down...”
I don’t get it, leggings have all the elegance of a sack load of potatoes squeezed into a balloon.
I know people excuse them because they’re comfortable; so’s my auntie’s floral sofa but I don’t wear that to go shopping. And it doesn’t make me look thinner either.
now do you mean leggins or footless tights? There is a difference (what I don't know) but many a teenage daughter has rowed with her mother when she brought the wrong ones!!!
Posted by: Hel | Tuesday, 17 July 2007 at 05:42 PM
'Footless tights', Helen? Footless tights?! You're trying to trick me with your feminine wiles! All I can say is it's a good job I'm not a mother with a teenage daughter! c.
Posted by: Carlton | Thursday, 19 July 2007 at 11:22 AM