Another day, another infant illness. S has a rash. And her face is unhealthily ruddy.
Our car travels down the grooves we’ve worn in the road to the local doctors’. We enter the surgery through the special ‘Paranoid Parents’ door. It is without paint below waist height from innumerable pram scuffing and the handle gleams from polishing by incessant hands. The nurse greets us by name.
The doctor tells us, S has slapped cheek. I am outraged - the suggestion that I hit my child! Surely, he can’t go around accusing honest tax payers of mild domestic abuse? But he doesn’t stop there. Quite common, apparently. Incredible! What lies! I try to find the words... Yes, other children have been in already. He can’t seriously be alleging that I roam rural England smacking small children? I wait for the claim that I steal ice creams too. Surely he is confusing me with the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
‘But it’s all right now; just a bit uncomfortable but not dangerous.’ he continues, ‘It’s contagious for the week before the rash comes out but will soon disappear.’
A virus? A virus? Called Slapped Cheek. I’ve never heard anything so ridiculous in my life.
Random indeed. I've never heard of this one.
Are you sure it's not just a rural thing?
Posted by: LondonGirl | Tuesday, 12 June 2007 at 11:38 AM
Mr Reeve is actually telling the truth. It's not another of his "It's another true story" to try and fool people. I wonder if a baby can get slapped check on their bum? Why just the face?
Posted by: Caryl | Wednesday, 13 June 2007 at 12:32 AM
It might be a rural thing, LondonGirl. I might need to reconsider letting S sleep in the stable...
Caryl! What a thing to suggest - that I would try to fool anyone. Imagine! And who knows, in future, little S may well suffer from slapped bottom. But what she does in her adult life is entirely up to her...
Posted by: Carlton | Wednesday, 13 June 2007 at 11:54 AM