Baby S doesn’t like to eat. She loves her milk but frankly, fooey to food. It’s a little distressing for her parents. Lovingly prepared home-made purees of the finest organic ingredients she hates, clamps her lips together and does her best owl impression - rotating her head as far from the spoon as possible. Give her the spoon on its own and she’ll chomp away at it like a ruminant. Put food on it and she won’t even pick it up let alone put it in her mouth. She won’t be fooled. Damn her precocious evil brilliance.
The more reckless of her parents believes that finger foods are the way forward. After all, she’s happy with teething biscuits and the odd carrot stick we’ve proffered.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing. On reflection, I suspect giving my thirty-four week old child a piece of lettuce wasn’t the most sensible thing to do. Her contented sucking turned quite quickly to purple-faced coughing. Thankfully, a couple of sharp slaps on the back and out it popped. Along with 200ml of milk from lunch, a few biscuit crumbs and various intestinal juices. Inexplicably, I have a reflex to catch vomit and you’ll be pleased to hear that I caught a significant amount of fluid in my hand. My trousers soaked up the rest. Then I cut a rather pitiful figure - immobilised by a now contented baby in one hand, yellow sick in the other and her mother, incandescent for me being so stupid, glaring across the table.
I didn’t want to eat in that restaurant again anyway.
Firstly, it goes without saying, glad to hear baby is ok,
but in a restaurant? haha that is amusing
Have you tried dipping food on carrot/biscuit sticks? Or does she just give you a "do you think Im stupid" look?
Posted by: The Boy Who Likes To | Friday, 12 January 2007 at 12:57 PM
She's much too clever for that. But I think it amuses her to make Mummy and Daddy try increasingly ridiculous ruses. She sees through them every time. c.
Posted by: Carlton | Friday, 12 January 2007 at 08:12 PM
Experienced parents, like me, for example, know that American babies will eat nothing except hot dogs, chicken McNuggets, and macaroni and cheese until they're at least 4. I'm sure there's the UK version, too, but the bottom line is: let S eat whatever she wants. She won't starve. God somehow planned it so that kids get their vitamin quotient from the most bizarre combinations of foods. Realize that vegetables are found everywhere: ketchup, mustard, french fries, and pickles. You're not a weird parent, she's just a normal baby.
Posted by: Lynne Spryszak | Saturday, 13 January 2007 at 05:48 PM