We took S swimming for the first time today. She wore a little pink costume with ducks on. And a waterproof nappy. Aren’t they all meant to be waterproof? Usually to stop the wetness seeping back to baby’s skin but I suppose this one must magically keep wee trapped inside a bubble that cannot leak in either direction. I could start to wonder how it differentiates between piss and pool and why soaking up the gallons of the latter doesn’t prevent it from absorbing the ounces of the former, but frankly I was relieved that all we had to consider was Number Ones. Although surely it should be numbered differently to maintain the rhyming consistency of Number Twos - Poos, Number Threes - Wees. Anyway...
Once she’d acclimatised to the regulation temperature chemical-free brine, she was fine. This was a new experience for her: new taste, new sensations, even the acoustics of the pool were different to anything she’d witnessed before. She took it all in.
‘Young babies automatically adjust to being underwater’ the experts say. ‘They like it’ they say. I suspect S might say something slightly different. Admittedly, with the best intentions in the world, it wasn’t the most elegant first attempt at submersion. The pool was so shallow that to bob under and maintain comforting eye contact, as suggested, would have required the skills of the finest Indian Rubber Man. As it was S had to suffer the manhandling of her pasty incompetent father. Never lacking Brilliant Solutions to Simple Problems, I’d determined that, from my sitting position, all I needed to do was rock backwards pulling Baby with me as I went under. Sadly, like my attempts at foreign languages, I thought no further than that first event - all follow up or sequence completely eluded me. I hadn’t considered how to resurface from a laying position with head under the water, toes out and hands full of subaquatic infant. Let me tell you, you don’t get much leverage from that position, particularly when the wide-eyed wonderment of a baby shifts to agitated concern.
Still, we didn’t drown and she's young so I’m pretty hopeful that she hasn’t been scarred for life.
Comments